I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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