bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
