i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
