i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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