I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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