It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
