3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just had sex bonerless
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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