Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
