You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
