i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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