i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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