dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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