there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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