We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
