Nicole vs. Life
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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