I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
