IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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