drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
