you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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