does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
