so that wasnt chicken after all
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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