The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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