I hate all girls vehemently.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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