Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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