He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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