someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He has the fingertips of a God
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
