I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
