If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
