I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
