An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you win again, gameday.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
