plz talk dirty to me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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