i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
