Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
