YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
