Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
