Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
