OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
