I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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