The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
this is an emotional support booty call
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
