so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
