bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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