you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
