i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
