Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
