Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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