It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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