sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We have started to decorate penises.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
