We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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