I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
