Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
